People have historically found different ways to make sense of difficult situations. During the Gilded Age, newspapers, etiquette books, and other forms of media offered sets of rhetoric and rituals to help people cope. There were distinct expectations for dealing with topics like race, class, sex, drugs, politics, and loss. Still, reality did not always live up to these standards. Mourning periods and public reaction to the Spanish-American War illustrate how Elmirans developed ways to cope with hardships and tragedy.