Mourning Rituals
Grieving during the Gilded Age was influenced by Queen Victoria’s mourning period after the death of her husband, Prince Albert. During the last 40 years of her life she practiced mourning rituals like wearing all black and isolating herself from society. These practices were adopted by some in Elmira and were reinforced by etiquette manuals.
 Prayer Card, 1892Prayer cards served as a means of remembrance. A prayer card features information about the deceased and a short memorial statement at the bottom. |
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 Hair Wreath, 1890Floral pattern hair wreaths were a common way of remembrance for members of the upper class. Many consisted of hair from multiple generations of family members. |
 Bonnet, 1880A bonnet of this type could be worn during half mourning because during that period women could begin wearing colors like gray, yellow, and burgundy. |
 Hat, 1890Black satin hat that could have been worn during half mourning. |
 Mourning cape, 1890This lightweight cape could have been worn during a summer funeral. Regardless of the time of year, women in mourning still needed to be completely covered. |
 Veil, 1900During the first year of mourning, women had to cover their faces with a veil whenever they left their home. |
The Gilded Ideal
For an upper class widow, mourning publicly meant using clothing to show her grief. Since people found it difficult to discuss death, dark clothing and jet jewelry helped women symbolically mourn. Rituals like this gave women a designated mourning plan, which provided them comfort and a way to move forward from death.
The Tarnished Reality
The expectations set forth by mourning rituals highlighted class differences. Practices like isolation, purchasing special mourning clothing, and extended mourning periods made grieving an expensive process. Poorer women could not afford to follow these rituals. The inability to “properly” mourn a loved one’s death showcased some women’s low social and economic status.
